Thinking And/Or Feeling

"The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel." Horace Walpole

http://bitchspot.jadedragononline.com/2013/04/16/empathy-vs-sympathy/

I recently found an old diary of mine listing this sentiment as one of my all time favorite quotes. It was from my early adulthood. Over the years, I've recalled it on more than one occasion, usually not remembering all the words correctly. But it prompted an intentional reflection within me today. Where I had before agreed with it wholeheartedly, today I would say I have a different take on it. It's not so black and white as I had once thought.

Obviously I didn't know Horace Walpole personally to understand what motivated him to believe what he wrote, but he is entitled, based on his own life experience, to believe whatever he understood from it. Interpretation of anything hinges on experience, personality, maturity and influences. My take-away now simply would not mesh with his as it did in my past when I just took it as a simplistic viewpoint. Life has given me many more things to contemplate and ruminate about; it's just not that easy to put everything neatly and tidily in a box.

When I first read the quote, my own inclination to be empathetic immediately made me realize I was one of those feeling people he identified in his quote. I was the first to always reach out to calm, help out in any way that I could and show as much empathy as the situation required. At the time, this is what made me nod Yes! to his quote enthusiastically. I identified with the second part, that's why I agreed with it. The first part was just a confirmation of the second statement. Thinkers are more cerebral. So of course, they're not going to be mensches.

But after being on this earth for the last 50+ years, I've come to the conclusion that it's not an either/or situation. I've know too many people who are incredibly intelligent, but also have such an empathetic streak in them. I would count myself as a person who is logical, reasonable and always try to be as rational as possible, and my need to fix all of the wounds I see gaping is still something that is just as much a part of me as my intellect. Am I what Walpole would have deemed a thinker? I don't know what he considered intelligent or if he meant a thinker like a Stephen Hawking. But I'd like to think I am somewhat intelligent.

I would still accept there are many who lack empathy and are incredibly intellectual, just as there are many who are incredibly feeling people who lack intelligence. But I have to reconsider my initial interpretation and say now there is such a wide variety of human beings, and they can fall anywhere on the spectrum of having both or either of the capabilities of thinking and feeling. As well as, to what degree they project either of those qualities. It's a cornucopia of possibilities, and not so elementary as Walpole suggested.

After reading up on Walpole a bit, I've come away with the impression he may have been a bit cynical or just based his statement on a few experiences he had in his life. His interpretation influenced by similar and repeated encounters with people showing the same characteristics possibly led to his simple conclusion. Or maybe the thinkers he encountered weren't sympathetic to him? This would be one of those instances I wish I had a time machine to go back and make contact with him. It would be interesting to understand how he came to this conclusion which led him to express that thought.

Well, that will never happen in my lifetime, if ever. I'll just have to make due with my own thoughts on the matter. Who knows, maybe they'll change some more when I'm in my 80s?

Pretty Ugly Liars

I wasted so many years on you. That I do regret.

Things would be so much better if people wouldn't lie to each other. The worst is when family looks you straight in the face and does it to you, and then acts like there's something wrong with you.

I got your number, I ain't never dialing it again. I don't talk to liars anymore.

In That Moment

Deonna Sayed

One wants to hold on to the sometimes elusive quality-filled emotions we experience. We know they feel like they will continue on forever. But they don't.

In that moment, it all feels right, smooth. All the jagged edges and kinks of your day have ironed out leaving you feeling silky and slinky all at the same time. You are feeling good, you are content, and you are wholly joy and happiness. It's as if this moment is the best moment you could ever experience.

Eventually, another moment comes along making you steer in a different direction all together. Someone has pissed on your parade, asked a stupid question, made you mad or any number of things that distract from that warm, content moment in time. It felt so brief, and almost not real anymore.

The next moment might take you right back to where you want to stay, or not. And that too glides into another moment. Maybe one of you being where you don't want to be, again. It feels like a chase to experience the next good moment, only to realize that we can't ever really hold on to it tight enough. It goes away.

But maybe it will come back again. Hopefully.

Existence Is Not Enough For A Conscious Mind

thearno.blogspot.com

Yes... do survive, please. We want you here for a long time. Do whatever it takes to make it through to a ripe old age, but be sure to fill it with the stuff dreams are made of.

Your happiness depends on it. Really live through and revel in your relationships, your community, your job, and most importantly, your desires.

Showing The World Me

brooqqatar at deviantart.com

The world sees what I show them. What they see is their guide. But...

I'm crying on the inside... I'm dying. My face tells another story, one the world around me will accept. They won't have to coddle, fix, help heal or just love; they wouldn't want to. It's better this way, it's what I tell myself.

Cracking the exterior. Letting the reality out, watching the ooze of ill project upwards and letting it fill the air. It's scary, it's shame-filled and guilt-ridden. 

I imagine I'm exposed, people wouldn't understand. They wouldn't care, they wouldn't help. Belittling would occur, anger would present itself, I'm scared. I stop and go further in, deeper where it's safe. Right, again I lie to myself.

My despair deepens, the picture perfect is no longer untarnished. Moistened eyes remove the warm glow of feigned happiness. Deep dimples erased as frowns commandeer the territory of the face, tears creating a river following their natural path. And it doesn't seem to want to end. The flood gates have opened, I can't contain them any longer. I have to purge. I feel sick, I feel unable to control myself anymore. But it's necessary.

I was wrong, there are those who comfort me. They shield me while I let go of the hurt, the anger, the frustration. They hold me until it's all OK again. I'm back in the world that sustains me, my focus is clearer, my strength restored. 

My real friends surround me, I can go back and take on the world. 

Camouflage not necessary... anymore.

I'll Go On Without You

               

I DID

Calm Awaits

Life happens to us, mostly; entanglement requiring our effort happens when we feel driven to accomplish whatever goal, end result or need that comes up. I'd like to think I have life happen to me and give it the appropriate response. I see so many who would choose to deflect or ignore.

That's dangerous.

Responding to life, situations, people, whatever.... it's important. Many don't think so or they are afraid. Too much thinking, too much involvement, too much drama... they only believe it will end badly thereby relinquishing their contribution to solving it. Bullshit.

Ignoring, deflecting... that's the dangerous part.

Many times we don't address what happens to us individually because either life happens and we're overwhelmed or we've put something out there that comes back to us to attend to and we're afraid of the consequences. It's because we think it creates drama and more problems. But we must fix, address or take care of seeing that it receives a resolution. Otherwise, it will continue to rear its head, begging for closure.

Go there, do it... end it. Calm awaits.