I Lose, I Triumph

Dark by Tithi Luadthong

I'm going to live a better, happier life than you deemed I was ever worthy of. Every time my name comes up I hope you choke on it with irritation. That's what you deserve, a life long aversion to the utterance of what once so easily came off your lips. I hope it makes your body fill with pins and needles whose friction tears you up on the inside. You, the creator of your own destruction. I walk away easily knowing you'll bleed from the inside. I am better without you.

You're Always Here With Me

There's an ease in our relationship, a rich comfort even when our lives don't intersect. I've forgotten some of the history we've shared, but your impression on me has never diminished.

The essence of our relationship is and always has been encouragement whether near or far, involved or silent. We forged a bond a lifetime ago by being each other's heroes. Through our friendship, our experience of finding stability within each other gave us some peace from the turmoil we lived. The acceptance we found with each other for our individual personhood was something we both desperately needed; it was the first bit of strength we gave to each other. We added on to that foundation separately throughout our lifetime experiences to become the women we are today. Whole... finally, proud of who we are, living and enjoying the good things life has to offer, loving the people who deserve our love and fully enjoying who we are now.

I'd not realized until recently how much of an impact our childhood friendship had on me, and actually how much we mentored each other through those times. It was valuable to me.

We've discarded the broken shells we were a lifetime ago, and gone through some incredible situations since then but have not stopped showing life we're not going down without a fight.

I so do appreciate you sharing that part of you that I carry around with me always.

I thought you should know that.