Sunday, April 24, 2016
Not buying into the construct of societal norms anymore.
They don't make you happy.
Going to be the creative genius of my own definition.
I'll be the designer of my destiny.
I will decide what looks normal in my world.
Being tired and dissatisfied is not normal.
My passions are my guide and my inspiration.
I will live and leave life feeling satiated and happy.
I am deciding who I am and what I will offer this world.
My only purpose is to grace this existence by living fully.
Friday, April 22, 2016
Then I remembered I forgot it was supposed to be a very special day.
One filled with laughter, joy and a reverence for love... the usual for a day belonging only to us. But instead the hours flowed from one chore into the next accompanied by intense feelings which were both distant and reflective. There were tears too.
But it wasn't all bad. I daresay even uplifting. Good friends reminded me that I was special and deserving of their love. That was cause for happy tears.
I've heard it said that shopping solves nothing. This trip did though. Tonight it will be a comfort to me in so many ways. Let's hope it carries me through until the days are filled with less what ifs.
I cherish the special people making this day feel lighter. You helped, and I thank you for that.
And to those who made this day normal-seeming, I owe you a debt of gratitude as well. I got through it with less damage.
Tomorrow will begin again like any other day. And I'll smile really big again.
Hopefully, my feelings will stay the course.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Sunday, April 17, 2016
I'm sorry. So, so sorry.
I didn't succeed in saving you from your fate.
You're broken now. The trust is gone, and so are your reserves. Your faith in love is shattered. It seems utterly unbelievable to have made it to this place of darkness. But you're here now... and I'm hurting with you, dearest.
Oh pain, please just go away! Leave him alone. The agony is too much for tender shoulders to bear. Ease up... I beg you.
You'll get through this, people say. It doesn't feel like that when you're in the thick of it though. But know this... I'm here till the tears stop rolling, the deep ache subsides and the reality of moving on alone becomes easier to accept. Whatever you need, love... I promise.
I'm here for you. Always.